I took four days off work hoping for a little rest after a stressful month of January. If you read this blog, you know me, and rest has been far away. I’ve been struggling with creating downtime in my life over the last year. I figured I needed rest and relaxation, given that work stresses me out and in general makes me want to run away. I’ve been fighting that never ending urge to go-go-go. But you know what? Production is my art. To be crude (and steal the name of a favorite book), making shit and doing things is how I interact with this world, as my truest self.
Even though I’m often weary, I’m a high energy individual. I’m not made to sit still. I’m not made to sleep late, to sip tea and watch movies, to take baths. I’m made to have dirt under my fingernails (shoutout to Katy!), to knick my hands and shins up, to not sit down for 12 hours straight. I’ve been fighting that in the name of my mental health and relationship (Andrew’s a low energy individual). Now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with relaxing (wish I could do it more) – but I think trying to force myself out of the habits that make me ME is creating stress in my life. I keep telling myself I’ll have time to rest when I’m retired.
So what if I didn’t score the staycation I was hoping for. The last three days off work have been a trip.